“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;” –Psalm 127:3-5a (NKJV)
I was born and raised on a dairy farm in Upstate New York with grandparents who had fostered children and parents who had thought about it. My husband and I had been married only a few years when the question popped up in conversations: “When are you going to have children?” We thought and prayed about what we should do. I had been to many doctors, and it seemed as though nothing was happening there. We decided to take the fostering to adopt classes in our county. We finished the classes and long anticipated a call that would bring children and make us a family.
Our marriage was seven years old when we received the call around 10:00 p.m. from the Department of Social Services (DSS). They had three kids and asked, “Do you want to foster them?” My husband said, “Can we pray about it first? Can we call you back in about five minutes?” She said, “Yes.” We prayed and had peace, so we called back with a “Yes!” They came with three children (a three-and-a-half-year-old boy, a two-and-a-half-year-old girl, and a one-year-old boy). They were tired, hungry, and needed baths and treatments. They were adorable!
Most people have nine months to prepare for children; I had an hour. We now had kids! Zero to three in sixty minutes! That was fast! No longer did I work in the local public school; I was a full-time mama with no breaks. And, I met my own selfishness head-on.
The children came in March of 2012. We had appointments and visitations, and I went with them to everything (because, after all, I love them and they’re my babies). The oldest was enrolled in Head Start, so he had to continue, as heartbreaking as it was for the both of us. At the end of the first day back to Head Start, his teacher told him that he was going home to Mommy and Daddy. He didn’t want to go. I found out what had happened and asked that they call us “Ta-ta” and “Mr. K.” It was better when he knew he was coming home to us.
The other two children were able to stay home with me. Our oldest son completed the rest of the year, and then he had to go to pre-K. DSS and the court allowed us to home educate him for kindergarten since the children were going to be adopted. Praise the Lord, the other two didn’t have to go to public school at all!
Meanwhile, I had a painful miscarriage where no doctor could tell me what my pain was from. Later on, I was going to the doctor for an earache and found out that I was thirteen weeks pregnant! What a surprise! I was so shocked! I thought it was a joke! I saw the ultrasound and in no way did I believe it! We prayed, and God, in His faithfulness, answered! Our little girl was born almost a year and a half after we had started fostering. After almost two years, we were able to adopt those three precious little ones on February 21, 2014. Then, shocker number two, we conceived again three months later, which was seven months after our first was born! We had five children, seven years old and under, all in three years. Life was full!
When our youngest was just three years old, we decided more children would be a great idea! More arrows in the quiver! On a snowy day in March of 2018, my husband, our three oldest children, and our friends from Texas went skiing. I stayed home with four little ones (four and under). Yep, you guessed it! That’s when the call came from DSS. I tried to reach my husband as he was skiing. Finally, we talked and prayed. We knew we had a crowded house (thirteen people, including our guests), but this was what God had for us. I called DSS back and said, “Yes, we’ll take the children.” DSS returned my call to inform me that they had found a different family placement for them. I got off the phone and prayed, “Lord, who’s going to tell them about Jesus?” The phone rang almost immediately after my prayer – and it was DSS. They asked if we were still willing to take the girls. “Of course we are!” I said enthusiastically. They came within the hour, and I now had six little ones under four to care for – two of mine, two of our Texan friends’ timid children, and two new needy foster children (a three-year-old and a six- month-old). It was a bopping time! Thankfully, it was only a few hours until my husband, our three oldest, and our friends returned home from skiing. Our friends decided to make their stay with us short due to there being fifteen people in a small, bustling old farmhouse.
After our friends left, the oldest foster girl came over to me and said, “Thank you; you’re a good mommy.” I hugged her and said, “You’re welcome.” We were told by the case worker that the girls would probably only be with us for a weekend. So, we braced ourselves for loving them, knowing they weren’t staying with us long-term. A lot happened; biological parents had struggles they couldn’t shake, etc. Life went on for the next few months to a year, all the while with them telling us the same story: “They’ll not be with you much longer.”
The oldest girl had to go to public school for kindergarten, which was very hard for her because she wanted to be home with us. If any of the kids talked about our day, she would feel like she had missed out. She wanted to do the schoolwork we were doing. I prayed that she’d be able to be home. Then, “the great shutdown” of our country hit! No visits were allowed except by phone, and she had to do public school first grade from home on a tablet. I was glad she was home, but it was a struggle to supervise the assignments because of objectionable content. I was then homeschooling five children, caring for a toddler, making meals, cleaning up, and doing laundry – on top of needing to keep an eye on the tablet each time it was being used due to content, etc.
We were also told by DSS that if anyone got sick, they could be taken away to another place. Well, I was scared. I had to keep reminding myself of God’s love and the much bigger picture – that He knows all my todays and tomorrows, He is guiding, and I can trust Him!
The next thing we knew, it was back to in-person visits with the biological parents while the girls wore face coverings for around two hours. We were told that the biological dad was going to take them on weekends and work it into weeks until they would be with him permanently. We accepted that and just kept loving and supporting the girls and their family. There were struggles with DSS; they instituted stiffer requirements and staunch behaviors as if we were trying to take the girls. We had to get a lawyer. It was a highly stressful time. But, wait a minute! Who’s my God? Is anything too hard for my God? No; Proverbs 3:5-7 was a comfort to me.
The girls had to go on overnight visits, and they fought to stay with us. They did not want to go. There was nothing we could do. Unfortunately, they did experience abuse, but, praise God, it was found out. Although the abuser was never punished for his crime, we know what God says about this in Luke 17:2. We serve a mighty God who protects, sees, and cares.
It was a l-o-n-g, hard road – almost five years of fostering these sweet girls – with many emotional roller coasters and hardships, one of which was that the biological mother had perished. We were blessed to be able to home educate the girls before they were officially adopted, and, praise God, we were able to adopt these two girls as an early Christmas present in 2022!
John 14:6 says, “Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” Adoption is a great example of what Jesus Christ has done for us! It is worth all the time, energy, and love to foster and adopt.
Matthew 19:14 tells us, “But Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.'” They are our children under God’s authority, but they are really His children! We are so thankful that God has given us the freedom to home educate all seven of our children. We are thankful for Homeschool New York / LEAH, HSLDA, family, friends, and many others who stand up with us. John 15:12-13 – “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”
In closing, my prayer is that we live for Him who gave all for us. May you be encouraged today through this glimpse of my life and how God was with me each step of the way!
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.” Ephesians 1:3-6
–by MK
